The Next Phase
by Dis-Moi
Summary: With Flora finishing her final year at Cambridge and preparing to head to grad school in the States, Caroline and Nicola seriously consider retirement so they have time to enjoy the next phase of their lives. No copyright or infringement of any entity or any person's rights to the characters and storylines from the original LTIH canon is intended. Part 3 of a trilogy.
1. Chapter 1

Caroline sat at the kitchen counter feeling utterly exhausted despite having just woken up. She wasn't sure how much she slept; it had been a long night without Nicola by her side. She wanted a lie in since she had an open calendar for the day but gave up any hope of being able to fall back asleep when she heard the trash collector barrel up the street. Once she realized she was irrevocably awake she began her usual morning routine.

Realizing she was slouching over the counter more than usual, she sat up straight in an effort to do a gentle stretch. Her lower back ached and her joints were stiff; she was long overdue for a massage but didn't have the drive to find her phone to call to schedule one. At least she had a cup of black coffee within arms reach to perk her up. She was so tired she wasn't sure if the silence in the house was comforting or disconcerting.

Flora was in her final term at university and would be off to America for graduate school within a few short months. With Flora's plans to go even further away to school, it cemented Caroline's belief that she would never really live at home again. Although she was prideful about Flora's independence and capabilities, Caroline was generally feeling unsettled. She didn't know why because she loved seeing Flora get everything she worked hard to achieve but she still hated the idea of there being an ocean between them. She wondered where Flora's life would take her after graduate school. Would she stay on the east coast of the States or be swept even further away from England? Caroline had a nagging suspicion that regardless of the answer, Flora wouldn't return to her homeland for more than just a holiday anytime soon.

Nicola was away on an extended business trip; she was taking fewer of them every year, thanks to her ability to delegate some to Marcus, but the ones she had to take seemed to keep her away longer than they used to do. Back in the days when her boys were little and John was often even more underfoot than they were, Caroline reveled in the rare times she had the house to herself and would have killed to send John away on extended business trips. She prided herself that she didn't gripe about Nicola's traveling like Pat did, but with Flora no longer living at home, Caroline grew to detest her absence and had a harder time keeping it to herself than she used to do.

Perhaps it was her age, but more likely it was her contentment with Nicola, that made her dread their time apart; Caroline loved their life. But Nicola was talking more and more about retiring and Caroline wasn't sure she was ready for such a monumental step, despite how ready she was for Nicola's business trips to end.

Retirement seemed like such a final step, in part because she still defined herself in many ways by her work. Work had always been the one constant in her life and she wasn't sure who she would be if she wasn't working. When it came to big decisions like this, she had to admit to herself that she missed her mum. Even though there were times their relationship was fraught with tension, she loved her fiercely and missed her wit and wisdom and Caroline found herself wanting some of her insight now.

For all her shortcomings, Celia embraced growing older better than Caroline seemed to be doing at the moment; she simply wasn't sure she was ready to transition to retirement like Nicola was and wasn't sure what to do about it. She looked at the clock and thought about calling William to meet for lunch but was concerned he needed more notice to be available; he was her best sounding board after her wife.

The sound of her cell phone ringing roused Caroline from her thoughts. She smiled at the name that flashed up on the screen as she slid the bar to answer the call. "Morning."

"Morning Caz," her low-life trailer trash step-sister perkily responded. Gillian was rolling a toothpick between her thumb and index finger as she fidgeted with anticipation.

"You sound perky for such an early hour," she replied as she raised her cup for another sip. She wrinkled her nose when she realized it had gone cold; while she could drink cold tea, she detested cold coffee. "What's up?"

"I feel like treating myself to a couple of days away from the farm and wondered if you fancy some company." Caroline smiled at the cheekiness of Gillian to invite herself; she was glad Gillian was comfortable doing so because they didn't see enough of each other since their parents passed a few years ago.

"Absolutely. From when to when?"

"I'm thinking I could catch a train down in a bit and be there tonight in time for dinner and return the day after tomorrow. Would Nicola mind?"

"She's in the States and gets back Saturday so you'll miss her. I'd be glad for the company but how can you get away?"

"Raff arrived late last night. He and Ellie had another one of their bust-ups and he wants to camp here until things cool down. I thought I'd take advantage and get away for a change."

"You'll have to tell me what it was this time when you get here. Just text me the time to meet you at the station and I'll be there," Caroline said, relieved at the idea of having company for a few days. Feeling a little better than she did before Gillian rang, she called her secretary to tell her she was taking a few days off since she had nothing pressing on her calendar.

She grabbed a notepad and pen after refreshing her cup of coffee and putting some bread into the toaster. Forgetting her earlier thought about trying to connect with William, she settled back in at the counter to make a list of things she needed to do before Gillian's arrival. The first thing on her list was to change the sheets on the bed in the guest room; second was to check the fridge and make a shopping list. Hearing the toast pop up, she stood to grab it and felt a twinge in her back. She grabbed the almost empty container of pain relievers on the counter and fished two out to take after she finished her breakfast. The last thing she did before heading up to shower was add pain relievers to her shopping list. It was just below the reminder to buy more wine.


	2. Chapter 2

Caroline decided to take Gillian out for an early dinner directly from the train station rather than dine at home; despite it being early-March, there was snow in the forecast so she thought they should enjoy going out while they could. Settling in over their starters, Caroline and Gillian's conversation seemed to pick up right where it left off the last time they were together. The bond they solidified while planning their parents' wedding only strengthened over the ensuing years as they worked together to keep them safe and comfortable.

Caroline appreciated Gillian doing the bulk of the heavy lifting after she moved down south; their folks planned to buy a little cottage of their own but when the chain fell through they defaulted to living full time at the farm for a few years until the stairs proved too much for them. In the end, Celia suffered a fatal heart attack within about ten months of their moving into the care home and about a month later, Alan died of what the doctor decreed a heart attack. Their daughters knew it was really a broken heart and truly believed their passing so close to each was a sign that they were always meant to be together; it was something that they took comfort in as they grieved.

They noticed the heavy clouds rolling in as they were leaving the restaurant. "It definitely smells like snow," Caroline commented as they climbed in the car to head back to her house.

"It'll be nice to wake and actually watch the snow fall without having to be out in it tending the sheep," Gillian confessed. She didn't remember the last time she had no chores nagging at her and was more than ready to be a lady of leisure, even if only for a few days.

About half way into the first bottle of red back at the house, their conversation predictably meandered to Gillian's love life. She was between lovers at the moment, which explained to Caroline why Gillian was spending her free time with her instead of on a dirty get-away like the last time Raff and Ellie had a bust-up.

She casually told Caroline that Raff kept in touch with Robbie and that he showed no interest in ever returning from Canada. Gillian gave the impression that she was relieved to not have to face him again and in a way she was because she worried that eventually Robbie would tell Raff about Eddie's death and assumed that since it hadn't happened yet it might if she were to see him again. It was the one risk she couldn't take.

"Do you think if he hadn't retired you could have held it together?" The fact that Gillian hadn't had a serious relationship since her marriage ended made Nicola and Caroline wonder from time to time if she was still in love with Robbie but neither wanted to ask her directly. But on this night, the wine was making Caroline more than a little brave so she dipped her toe into the shallow end of the subject with her question.

"I used to wonder that too but I don't think so. We might have adjusted to all that togetherness but looking back, it's clear it was never going to work long term; Eddie wouldn't have allowed it," Gillian admitted as she looked around to see where Caroline had placed the wine bottle; as the thought of Eddie still made her spine tingle and she wanted something to numb it. Spotting it on the counter behind her, she turned on her stool and grabbed it by the neck. She carelessly sloshed some into her glass and tried to be more precise as she topped off Caroline's.

"Pace yourself, we've got all night," Caroline cautioned. She didn't mind Gillian getting tight, and was actually looking forward to getting a little loose herself, since they had nowhere to go in the morning and could sleep in. She was enjoying Gillian's company and wanted to extend the night; she missed seeing her like she did when Celia and Alan were still alive.

"I've been thinking about selling the farm," Gillian said to deflect the attention away from her drinking and from the topic of Robbie. She took another swallow and puckered her lips afterward; she knew it was a better quality wine than she usually bought for herself and suddenly felt guilty for not slowing down and savoring it more.

"Really?" Caroline, with her glass halfway up to her lips, stopped its upward progress and lowered it without taking a sip. She couldn't believe her ears because she knew Gillian felt about her farm the way she did about her house on Conway Drive once upon a time.

"Yup. That's what the bust up between Raff and Ellie was about. He wants to buy me out and she doesn't." She paused to take a sip and then continued, "If I'm honest, I don't want them to live there but it's up to them to figure it out."

"Why? I mean why are you thinking of selling?" Her back was starting to ache from sitting on the hard kitchen stool so she shifted a bit in her seat to release the building inflammation in her lower back.

"Honestly? It's taking a harder toll on my body than it used to," Gillian confessed. "Besides, Gary told me how farm prices around me have skyrocketed the past few years."

"Where would you go?" Caroline stood to get herself a glass of water and a couple of pain relievers. She quickly downed them in the hopes they would not only help her back but also stave off the headache she felt coming on.

"I always loved Robbie's little house. Some place like that would suit me fine. That financial guy Gary hooked me up with after me dad died says he could turn enough income out of the expected sale proceeds to keep me comfortable."

"Not to be crass but can Raff afford it?" She knew he was doing well since he went to work for Gary after their twin boys were born. He wanted more job security than he had; Gary wanted him to work for him to ensure he stayed nearby rather than seek a better job down south.

"I couldn't charge Raff top dollar so I'm hoping Ellie wins this one." She didn't share with Caroline that she had promised him the opportunity to top her best offer if she listed it for sale. It was an empty promise because she knew how much Ellie hated living at the farm, especially in the winter months.

"What, what, what would you do with yourself?" She was stammering with disbelief that Gillian was so calmly talking about making such a big life change.

"Learn to sleep in. Travel. Maybe find myself a gigolo," she said with a smirk to hide the fact that she was more serious than she wanted to let on.

"Won't you be bored? You've never been one to sit and knit tea cozies. Remember how you couldn't stand the silence after the folks moved?" Caroline started fidgeting with the abandoned cork lying on the counter to hide her distress at the thought that if Gillian retired she'd have an even harder time convincing Nicola they shouldn't. Her headache was getting worse by the second.

"Don't know but I could always find a shop to work in or volunteer at the animal shelter." Gillian appreciated that after she got her half of their inheritance she no longer needed to moonlight to make ends meet. She still had a tidy sum left from it thanks to that financial planner and to Caroline handling all the estate details so efficiently in the first place. "I thought you'd be more supportive."

"Can't imagine you not living on the farm. I always thought they'd carry you out feet first." It dawned on Caroline that Gillian seemed more fearless than her because she wasn't ready to jump into what she called the 'abyss' when she and Nicola debated retiring.

"This winter really took it out of me," she responded as she set down her glass and started rolling her left shoulder forward to stretch the rotator cuff she injured when an errant sheep knocked her against the barn door the other week. "I know I said I'd never leave it but some days there just isn't enough lineament to keep my stiff joints moving."

"I didn't know how you kept up with it ten years ago," Caroline said to commiserate and sound more positive.

"Hold on. Hold on. How about you, Vincent? Are you and Nicola still arguing about retiring?" She waved her hands about with some excitement when the penny dropped.

"How...how do you know about that?" Caroline drained the last of her wine and moved to grab the wine opener and the second bottle that was on the counter. If she had to discuss this topic, she needed some more lubricant herself. "Oh. That's right. Lawrence was with Raff the other week for that thing."

"Is it a state secret?" She gave her stepsister a self-satisfied smile, grateful to see her back on her heels for a change.

"No. According to Nicola, I have no valid reason for resisting but I'm just not sure I'm ready. It seems like such a final step." She stood up, grabbed her glass and the wine and walked past Gillian toward the family room. "Come on, if we're going to talk about this let's go move to softer seats in the other room."

Gillian dutifully followed and plopped herself down opposite Caroline on the settee. "I thought you were tired of all Nicola's traveling."

"That's not fair, using my words against me," she gently protested as she had uttered those words to her just the day before during their phone call. "Besides, you just sound like Nicola when you mimic that back to me."

"Good. If I had a partner to jump into retirement with I'd be taking a running start. I don't get you. Seriously, what's going on?"

Against her better judgment, Caroline leaned forward and poured more wine for both of them. She placed the quickly emptying bottle on the coffee table in front of them and slouched back against the sofa pillows to settle in. After a few seconds, she ran her hands through her hair and finally looked up at Gillian, blue eyes meeting blue eyes as if on a standoff. Realizing the need to get Gillian's perspective on the tiresome subject, she finally capitulated and prepared herself to tell Gillian some things she hadn't fully explained yet to Nicola.


	3. Chapter 3

"Okay, okay. I have about a thousand other reasons I'm not ready to retire yet. How do you want them? Alphabetically or in descending order?"

"Seriously, George Jetson? What could be so bad about getting off Astro's treadmill?" Gillian looked around for a blanket to throw over her legs. Not seeing one, she tucked her legs up under her bum instead.

"Nicola started talking about retiring four years ago. We agreed to revisit it when Flora graduates. Since Flora now has a nice inheritance from Ginika, she doesn't need our assistance with grad school so I haven't that excuse like I did when she went to university."

Feeling loose from every one of her glasses of wine, Gillian pressed on and asked a question she never would have done had Nicola been there. "Would you feel different if it were Kate pressuring you to retire?"

"Why? Why do you ask that," came the fast reply as the question instantly sobered up the blonde.

"I wonder if you think about her the way I sometimes do about Robbie. I would love to not be retiring alone. I worry a little about being lonely. Not sure where to find good men at my age," she admitted before nervously pushing her hair out of her eyes, worried about Caroline's reaction.

"That's it. I'm cutting you off," Caroline said as she moved the wine bottle out of Gillian's reach. "You've never had trouble finding men, but a good man? That could prove difficult; they might be like unicorns and don't really exist." Realizing that sounded a little harsh, she tried to lighten her remarks, "You could always open a bait shop in Scotland; bet you'd meet plenty of blokes that way."

"Wow. Evading the original question," Gillian retorted, knowing full well the bottle would be empty before they retired for the night. "Interesting."

"Gillian," she said as she tried to level her with a stern look that failed as the former headmistress was massively out of practice. Her job at the Foundation required her to smile more than any other she had in academia and it was part of what she liked about it. "Of course not. I decided a long time ago not to look back as I'm not going in that direction. I can't." Caroline was curt as she was trying to stave off any further conversation about Kate; it was a dangerous subject when she was this many drinks in.

"I could say that's another evasion but I'll let it pass." They fell silent for a bit as their drinks took hold once again and softened out the edges a bit. Eventually Gillian asked another pointed question. "It's your 20th anniversary this year, isn't it? How's it feel to be with someone that long? That's longer than you were with John and Kate put together."

"Longer. You forget we were together a couple of years before we married," Caroline flashed Gillian an inscrutable look trying to understand where the conversation was meant to go or if Gillian was just trying to fill the silence. The farmer never did silence well when she'd been drinking. "It took a long time for the ghost of what I had with Kate to fade but now I can't imagine my life without Nicola all these years since I couldn't have Kate."

"I'm glad you didn't shrivel up after she died. We were all worried about you."

"I couldn't. I had Flora and the boys. I had to get on with it." Flora's cat, Whiskers, jumped up onto her lap and settled in as soon as Caroline rubbed the top of her head. The cat started purring and shut her eyes tight with happiness.

For a change, Gillian sat silently watching Caroline, which prompted her to continue. "Watching Flora about to launch reminds me how I knew where I wanted my life to take me when I finally had my PhD and how excited I was to begin it. As soon as I got where I wanted to be with each position, I was always looking for the next challenge. Can I really be at the end of all that just as she's starting?" She was hoping Gillian wouldn't get the subtext that she was a little jealous of her daughter. During this time with Nicola away, she'd spent a fair amount of time reflecting about what she'd have done differently if given a do-over.

Assuming it was a rhetorical question, Gillian let it hit the floor and instead responded, "The problem with always looking for the what's next is that you never allow yourself to enjoy the 'what is'." She could see the earnest fear in Caroline's eyes so she continued to verbalize her thoughts, "It seems to me that what you have is a struggle between striving versus allowing."

When Caroline didn't readily respond, Gillian gave her a self-satisfied smile that wasn't lost on her. "That's deep for someone who is as many glasses of wine in as you. There's more I still want to do with this job."

Without missing a beat, Gillian replied, "You're a tool, that's what you are. There will always be more to do and good people to do it. You've got a wife who actually wants to spend time with you. What are you waiting for? Do you want them to carry you out of your office feet first?" Caroline winced as her words from earlier in the night came back to haunt her and instantly reminded her about Beverley.

Only two months prior she received a call from Angela about the unexpected passing of Beverley's husband, Larry. Angela had kept in touch with Beverley, even after Madeline's passing. Larry was all set to retire and they booked a trip to celebrate. Two weeks before Larry's scheduled last day at work, he complained about having indigestion after dinner. Beverley gave him an antacid and didn't think anything of it when he went to bed a little earlier than usual that night. A few hours later, she found him; he laid down in bed and died of a heart attack.

Thinking Caroline's fears were really just about what it would be like to not have her position at the Foundation, Gillian tried to reassure her further. "But you took that leap to London with Nicola and look how that's worked out. This is just another leap and one that's best taken together."

"Well, I also worry that if we stop working and spend all our time together she'll see how old and boring I'm becoming. John used to tell me how boring I was. Kate figured that out and left me at one point before…" her voice trailed off as her candor surprised even herself.

"None of us are getting younger, not even Nicola, and you couldn't be boring if you tried. Don't you realize that after two decades it's still you that Nicola can't wait to come home to? Besides, look at me. It's my first escape from the farm in ages and I came to see you."

"Ha! She can still chase a tennis ball but my knees and hips forced me to give up the game last year. I fear a replacement of something is in my future if I'm to keep up with her." She shifted a bit which caused the cat to jump down off her lap. Whiskers sauntered over to the coffee table and rubbed back and forth against one of its legs before jumping back up onto the sofa.

"Those replacements are nothing anymore, certainly not a sign you're growing old, just that you've lived more of your life in those damned heels than the rest of us mere mortals." Gillian unfolded her legs and stretched them out in front of her and put her feet up onto the coffee table as the cat crawled onto her lap this time.

Caroline laughed at Gillian's remark. She took a long, fortifying sip and then continued to press on about how old she was becoming to get Gillian to understand her fear was real. "I've got more age spots than Nicola. They seem to multiply overnight. Oh, and apparently I have the start of cataracts."

"Those don't mean anything either. They've been watching Ellie's for more than four years now and she's about to have the first one removed next month; they can happen at any age. My guess is that you haven't shared any of these concerns with your better, and allegedly younger looking, half yet. What's really going on?"

Realizing Gillian knew her too well, Caroline opened up even further. "When we first got together, she was fabulous with Flora. If I'm honest, part of me always wondered if Flora wasn't really the basis of her attraction to me. She told me herself she missed Pat's boys more than Pat after they split."

"You've got to be kidding?!" Gillian was almost at a loss for words. She lazily stroked the cat with her free hand, not willing to set down her glass to use both hands to help the cat settle in.

"Hmmm. Nope. I'll even admit that's why I didn't want to retire when Flora left for Cambridge. I was convinced that once the nest was empty Nicola would realize we'd run out of things to talk about if we didn't at least have Unilever in common."

"As I live and breath," Gillian started incredulously. "Caroline, the practically perfect in every way daughter of Celia, had those kinds of self doubts? You really are a tool. There's no way Nicola would have ever been that shallow. You know she's loved you since your school days. She makes a point of telling everyone how if times were different you would have been her sweetheart back then, just like me dad and your mum would have been had it not been for me mum."

"Pathetic, isn't it? Don't tell anyone I was a little jealous of her connection with Flora," Caroline asked. She picked up the bottle and poured the last of the wine into their glasses in an effort to avoid eye contact. In those dark days feeling sorry for herself after Kate died she assumed that at her age she would never find a mate who would embrace her child.

"Besides, Pat cheated on her. Why would she miss her? And you two have built the loveliest of homes and it's clearly one that's been built on love."

"Over the years I've realized that it's gratitude that makes a house a home. I was so grateful for Kate and for the life we were building. I lost that feeling of gratitude for a bit after…when I was really struggling as a single parent. But I got it back with Nicola and I know how lucky I was to find it again."

"That might just be a bit too deep for me after all this wine. I thought you'd tell me the sex made it worth staying for the past 20 years," Gillian admitted in an effort to lighten the conversation.

"Don't knock it till you've tried it," Caroline quipped. It was all Gillian ever got out of her on the subject, even when they were in their cups.

Sensing Caroline was getting lost in her thoughts again, Gillian pulled her back into their conversation. "Admit it. When the nest was empty you found there were still lovebirds living in it, didn't you?"

Caroline laughed in spite of herself and gave Gillian a coy smile over the top of her wine glass. "It was really the first extended time alone we'd had in all our years. Sure Greg would take Flora in the summers for a week or two but this was different. We missed Flora but the freedom was wonderful."

"But retirement is nothing more than the ultimate freedom, isn't it? From what I've seen, you've never failed at anything. I'll bet retirement will be just one more thing you'll both succeed at, despite your fears." Gillian drained the last of her wine and leaned forward to set the glass down by the empty bottle. Whiskers moved back to Caroline as soon as Gillian moved, but after walking across her legs, jumped down to the floor and went in search of something only she knew.

Caroline, used to being left behind by the cat, looked at the clock on the mantle and then over at Gillian who was quietly gazing out the picture window at the snow that could be seen falling in the glow of the lamp post. Caroline followed her eyes to peer out the window and realized the silent snowfall had begun and it filled her with the same sense of wonder as it did when she was a young girl. She thought for a moment about her young daughter and how she really had nothing to be jealous of Flora about, and her heart swelled with pride at all Flora planned to do with her life.

Looking down at the almost empty glass in her hand, she raised it to her lips and drained it as she suddenly knew what she needed to do. Perhaps it was the wine, or perhaps it was the relief from having finally said her biggest fears out loud. Whatever it was, Caroline found she was feeling better than she had since Nicola left for the States. She was still sober enough to know it wasn't just the wine that made her forget some of her aches and pains. For all her impulsiveness and rash talk, sometimes Gillian could really hit the mark when she needed her to do so.

"I'm glad you're here, Gillian. When we're all retired we'll have to make it a point to see more of each other."


	4. Chapter 4

Nicola agreed to meet Marcus in the hotel for breakfast before their first meeting at J&J to strategize. When he was late arriving, she decided to start without him and was halfway into a bowl of fruit by the time he appeared.

"You look rough," she said in greeting as he walked toward the table.

"Sorry, but my tiara is at the dry cleaners," he retorted as he set his briefcase down and considered whether he wanted to get some food before sitting down. He decided the pull of the coffee was too strong to resist and sat down to pour a cup.

"How late did you stay at the bar last night? Did you get any sleep?" Nicola asked as she accepted a top-up from him and looked at her watch.

"I felt it wrong to leave before the rest of the J&J people were ready to go. I think I rolled in about 1 a.m.," he admitted before adding that he'd only been drinking club soda the last two hours. "They're a fun bunch when you get them to let the stuffing out of their shirts."

"Good, because this is my last trip here. I've decided that from now on, this is your baby." She speared and took a bite of the anemic-looking strawberry. As she chewed she was wishing she'd grabbed a Danish and a cup of yogurt instead and thought about the possibilitiy of hotel breakfasts in bed with her wife after they retired.

"Seriously? What are you saying?" He sipped on his cup and pulled out his phone to check his messages, trying to play it cool and not let on that this was the news he'd been waiting to hear.

"I've been trying to convince Caroline we should retire for a while now. Angela knows that as soon as Caroline agrees, I'm done and you know the succession plan has always been for you to take over. That's why we made this trip together instead of just me alone. I wanted to be able to report back that this project is squarely in your hands. Are you up to taking the lead in the meetings today?"

'You've trained me well Obi Wan," he said as he put his palms together as though he was about to pray and bowed his head to underscore his appreciation. The idea brought some much-needed colour back to his pale face. His hangover was quickly fading thanks to hearing the news he'd been waiting years to hear. "I know we've talked about it for a while but I didn't think Caroline would ever agree."

"You've been patient long enough and so have I," Nicola said with a twinkle in her eye. "She hasn't yet but I've got a plan to take her out to dinner when I get back and make her an offer she can't refuse, and if she does, I just might have to play dirty."

"I don't think I want to know. But why do it at a restaurant?" He put his cup down as he noticed there suddenly was no line at the waffle maker.

"Too public for her to flip out on me. You're married. You should know that trick," she admitted honestly. "Go, get something to eat. We've got to be there pretty soon. I think I'll join you for something else; this fruit is flavorless."

* * *

A couple of hours earlier, back in London, Gillian was already in the kitchen, drinking her second cup of coffee when Caroline finally entered the room; you can take the girl out of the farm but you can't take that internal early to rise farm clock out of the girl.

"Morning," Caroline said as she stumbled past her to the coffee pot, grateful to find it more than half full. Her head was throbbing and she hoped the caffeine would help take some of the edge off it. She filled her favourite mug and moved to the window to survey the amount of snowfall that accumulated overnight. She was surprised to see the sky looked like it was going to start snowing again at any moment as she thought the forecast for the day was clear.

Long gone from the garden were the remnants of the old trampoline Flora begged to get. She missed the days Flora and her friends would turn endless cartwheels across the lawn before the trampoline arrived; Caroline was worried she'd hurt herself on it but Nicola convinced her it would be all right. What she hadn't expected was that Flora and her girlfriends would spend more time laying on it, gossiping and watching clouds pass by overhead, than actually jumping on it. She had to admit, if only to herself, Nicola was usually right about most things, like she was about the trampoline.

Caroline moved to the fridge to see what she could make for breakfast. "Hungry?" She asked as she pulled out the quiche she picked up at M&S and showed it to Gillian who merely nodded her head. She read the heating instructions and turned on the oven. She removed the wrapper and placed it in the cold oven. "It's the broccoli cheese one you like."

"Sounds great. Don't remember the last time I had a breakfast I didn't make for myself," she said with a grateful smile.

"Toast while we wait," Caroline offered as she moved to pull the bread out of the cupboard.

"Nah. I'm good." Caroline noticed Gillian seemed off in her own little world.

"Did you sleep okay?" she asked as she abandoned the loaf by the cutting board and took a seat at the counter.

"Yup. When the farm sells, maybe I'll just move in here. I love that mattress," she teased as she stretched her back. After just one day off from her farm chores she was already feeling less stiff. "If I recall the finer points of our discussion last night, did you actually say you're finally going to take the plunge?"

"Not if you come here to live," Caroline said dryly. "But yeah, I think it's time. Somehow through the wine haze last night you still made a lot of sense so thank you for that."

"Anytime, Caz. Have you told herself the good news yet?" Gillian heard her stomach begin to rumble when she recognized the aroma of the quiche escaping from the oven.

She thought about sending a text, before turning in for the night, to tell Nicola that she was right and it was time to retire but decided to let it wait until her mind was less wine-addled. In the cold light of day, or at least in the cold kitchen since the cloud cover outside was too thick to let the sunshine through, Caroline realized she still felt good about her decision from the night before. She looked at her watch and calculated the time difference. Recognizing Nicola would still be asleep, Caroline picked up her cell and opted to call Angela instead.


	5. Chapter 5

Just before boarding her overnight plane home, Nicola checked her phone and found the Cellarette sent an email confirming her reservation for their usual table for dinner the next night. Without Caroline's knowledge, she changed her travel plans to arrive home on the morning of their anniversary so they could celebrate it together. When they spoke briefly the day before, Caroline reassured her that she understood their inability to be together on the day was outside Nicola's control; she said was going to just retire early with the book she was trying to finish and it was fine as long as Nicola made it up to her when she returned.

But it was the cryptic remark Caroline made about having a mind-blowing special surprise for her that made Nicola decide to change her plans and come home early. Something about the playfulness in her remark led Nicola to hope Caroline was finally softening on the idea of retirement even though Caroline didn't fully tip her hand. Nicola didn't want to ask her directly and risk a bad conversation in case she had the wrong end of the stick so she let it drop. Either way, she couldn't wait to get home.

Nicola wouldn't have been able to return early had her boss not agreed to her letting J&J know that Marcus was assuming the reigns on the latest joint venture. Her boss agreed that she could let J&J know that she was transitioning to retirement, thus giving her an opportunity to say an in-person goodbye to her counterparts at J&J. She felt as though she had come full circle with the people she worked with before she took her family medical leave to return to her ailing parents in England. She hadn't planned to take a job at Unilever at that time and always felt a bit guilty about not getting to say a proper goodbye to her work family.

When Nicola entered their front door just after 9 am, feeling more than a little sore and bedraggled from the long flight, she was instantly buoyed by the sight of Caroline, wrapped up in her bathrobe, perusing the newspaper, nibbling her toast with a steaming mug of coffee beside her. "Surprise! Happy Anniversary," Nicola began as she dropped her bag and embraced her thrilled wife.

"What…how…Happy Anniversary," came the grateful reply from a startled Caroline; she was overwhelmed to have her wife back in her arms and not at all disappointed to miss having the house to herself. "I can't believe you're here. How did you manage it?"

"Thanks to Marcus, the details for everything were humming along so well it made sense for me to bow out and leave it all to him to finish. Since it's going to be his baby, the powers that be had no issue with my heading back a little early. Actually, when I told them it was our anniversary they all but insisted."

"Hmmm. So how big a thanks do I owe to Marcus for getting you back today?"

"You can show him your appreciation another time, but for now how about you just show me yours," Nicola said with a wicked smile on her face as she reached over and playfully took a bite of Caroline's toast. "Breakfast first and then bed or bed first and then a proper breakfast," she offered, leaving her luggage and dirty laundry forgotten just inside the front door. Once they were curled up in their bed, they found other things to do rather than worry about laundry or even engage in the retirment conversation both were eager to have.

* * *

Caroline was not surprised, but thoroughly delighted, Nicola picked the Cellarette for their anniversary dinner. They stopped to chat with Polly, the owner who was permanently perched on a stool at the back corner of the bar; it was the perfect spot for her to see the entire front dining room but yet quiet enough for her to field all the calls for reservations. They guessed Polly had to be in her late 80's and the feared the day they would enter to not find her there as Polly, and the rest of her family that really ran the restaurant, always made them feel special, addressing them by name, asking about the kids and grandkids, as well as sharing parts of their lives in return.

By the time they settled into their starters, they were fully relaxed into the moment. Nicola thought about splashing out someplace a little finer, but decided the Cellarette was the prefect spot as Caroline, in one of her more contrite moods about turning down Nicola's first marriage proposal there, once promised she'd never say no to her about anything there ever again. She knew it was dirty pool but she planned to broach the retirement subject over dinner and was so desperate get her to retire that she was willing to play that as her last wild card.

"I can't tell you what it means to me that we spent today together," Caroline began. "What a lovely and unexpected surprise. The way you've constantly put me and Flora first makes me feel like I just don't do enough to show you what you mean to me."

"You absolutely do my love," Nicola responded demurely, not sure where Caroline was taking the conversation.

"No. Not enough, I'm afraid. Which is why I got you this," she responded as she reached into her bag and pulled out a manila envelope. The first thing Nicola noticed about it was the word Unilever stamped on it. Caroline sat back in her chair with a Cheshire cat grin and watched intently as Nicola slowly opened the metal clip and lifted the flap to access its contents; a wide smile erupted on her face as she read the first line on the top page.

Before she could speak, Caroline began again. "It's time. I called Angela to get a set for me as well as this one for you. All we need to do is fill in the dates for our last day, sign and return them. We can sort out all the pension and retirement savings details with the benefits department later."

Nicola swallowed hard to remove the emotional lump that had instantly taken up residence in her throat as she stared at her wife with a profound look of gratitude on her face.

"I feared you would say no again and I was prepared to give you a hard sell," Nicola admitted when she finally found her words. "I had a whole speech rehearsed and everything. I can't tell you how thrilled I am. What finally shifted?"

"Now I'm sorry I didn't get to hear that little speech," Caroline teased. "Honestly, Gillian calling me an idiot every five minutes while we were discussing the pros and cons of retiring finally wore me down, I guess. I didn't tell you but she's selling the farm and retiring too."

"Remind me to send her some flowers as a thank you," Nicola retorted, more than a little surprised that Gillian got further with her wife than she had been able to do over the last year. "And as for that little speech, I think I'll tuck it away for another time you refuse me something."

Caroline could see the teasing look in Nicola's soft blue eyes. She noticed a few more gray flecks in them as she aged but they were still the most beautiful she'd ever seen. She was on the brink of getting lost in them when she pulled her thoughts back to the present. "Seriously, it's time to see what new adventures await us as Flora goes off on her own. It was just me being my inept and silly self really. I'm ready to do this whenever you are."

"About that," Nicola said. "I was thinking that we could retire at the end of June, which is the end of the second fiscal quarter. That will give us about 60 days to transition everything. Then we'll also have enough time to get Flora organized for her move to Cambridge and we could go along to get her situated. It would be fun for me to properly introduce her to all my old haunts."

"That's what I was thinking, too." Caroline said in relief. She really wanted to see Flora settled so she could rest easier about her being so far from home. She also wanted to see where she'd be so she could picture it all in her mind.

"If you're game for it, I was thinking we could rent a place on Cape Cod for a month or so after her classes start. Flora could come see us if her schedule allows. I always loved the Cape and have wanted to show it to you for forever. We could spend our days ferrying to Martha's Vineyard, Nantucket and anywhere you'd like. You could shop in Hyannis Port and we could go to Wellfleet for oysters pulled fresh from the ocean. We could bike on the path at Falmouth. There's just so much to see and Provincetown, up at the tip, is a required day trip as I always loved the burgers at Burger Queen; I wonder if it's still there after all these years."

Caroline could see the excitement building in her wife as she described her thoughts and she felt herself getting excited about having the luxury of time to focus on Flora as much as starting their retirement tripping with Nicola in her favorite part of the States.

"That sounds lovely. You've really missed New England, haven't you? I've often wondered if you would have moved back after your dad died. I'm guessing that had it not been for Flora and me you would have. I'm sure J&J would have jumped at the chance to get you back."

Mid-bite, Nicola put down her fork, and leaned across the table to take Caroline's hands into her own. "I have spent all these years exactly where I was meant to be and I wouldn't have changed a minute of it." She squeezed Caroline's hands to emphasize her point. "The moment I saw you on that plane, all I wanted was you. I still can't believe you moved down south to be with me. I was prepared to even take a job as a janitor at Sulgrave to be near you if you wouldn't move to me."

"Ha. I'd have paid to see that considering you're crap at even tidying up for the cleaning lady." Caroline threw her head back as she laughed at her wife's unbelievable confession. Nicola released her hands as she joined in the laugh. Caroline resumed putting all the elements of her starter onto her fork to build a perfect bite. She was preparing to offer it to Nicola but her movement was impeded as her wife turned her attention to looking for her purse. She sat back in her seat and realized her back felt looser than it had in days thanks to Nicola helping her give it a good workout earlier. She smiled broadly at the memory of it all.

"Fair enough," Nicola capitulated as she remembered she too had an anniversary gift for her wife. She put her hand into her purse and pulled out a square robin's egg blue colored box tied with a white ribbon. "I brought you a little souvenir from New York. Happy Anniversary, my love."

Tucked inside were two identical eternity rings. Caroline knew Nicola had wanted a set for them since their 10th anniversary when they redid the bathroom instead. She was pretty sure Nicola was intending to get them a set and frankly would have been disappointed if she hadn't; she just didn't think they would come from Tiffany's and would have bigger diamonds than Caroline expected. "They're gorgeous. Perfect, just like you."

"I've always admired eternity rings on others because of the symbolism of them. It's well past time we had some, if for no other reason other than to remind you that you're not just my past and my present but my entire future, wherever that may take us. I don't want to go anywhere without you again."

"I wouldn't have it any other way," she responded as she leaned over the table to give her wife a perfect kiss in which the tips of their noses touched and which left everyone who saw them, including Polly whose sight wasn't what it used to be, without a doubt about their commitment.

"So how do you feel about an RV trip from New England to Alaska," Nicola lobbed, fully expecting a flat out rejection. "I've always wanted to do that."

"Well, Gillian threatened to come live with us after she retires so maybe we need to discuss that as an escape route," Caroline responded in jest, causing her wife to flash her a knowing smile as she leaned in to enjoy that perfect bite from the end of Caroline's waiting fork.


End file.
